Damn humans!

I was reading Time Magazine (now that I get People at home, I have to get something else at the grocery store) and they had "10 Ideas that are Changing the World". I love these issues because it's fun to guess if they're right or not.

Idea #2 is that more and more, we will be moving to a "self-service" world where we check out our own goods, etc. It first started in 1916 when the Piggly Wiggly became the first grocery store where you got your own goods instead of telling the shopkeeper what you wanted.

The author lamented at the end of the piece that we were having to do more of the work without getting paid, and wasn't that awful? Wouldn't that take up so much more of our time?

Au contraire, Ms. Kiviat. How nice would it be to order a meal from a computer at your table instead of having an obnoxious server interrupting your conversation every 5 minutes? How awesome is the idea of scanning and bagging your groceries as you move through the store, instead of filling your cart, unloading it, then bagging it all up again after waiting in line for 20 minutes because the lady in front of you has 35 coupons and wants to write a check?

I am the person who uses the self-check lanes whenever possible. I hate checkers who comment on my purchases or leaf through my magazines while I'm paying. I hate being bugged by a server 5 times before you're ready, having to specifically request ordering a children's meal with the drinks because they can't wait for the rest of the meal, and never being able to find a server when you are finally ready. I cringe when the server actually sits down with you like they're family (j'accuse, Outback!). I don't know you and I have personal space issues, freak show! Get out of my booth!

Even my fave downtown store has about 30 employees loitering around during lunchtime asking anyone and everyone if they can help them find something. Please, I know where to find everything in that store, from argyle socks to zebra bedding. Your constant approaches are costing me time! Save it for someone who looks lost.

Or better yet, put up kiosks where I can type in an item and it tells me where to find it and how to get there.

I should call them with that idea...

(And yes, I know my French is deplorable.)

Lest ye be

Judge not... except for those hateful fags. They're sinning against God.

Judge not... except for poor people. Get a job!

Judge not... except for those who don't believe as you do. They must be misguided infidels and need to be converted.

Judge not... except for abortion doctors and those who choose it. They have no right to participate in something that's entirely legal.

Judge not... except for that asshole who cut me off this morning.

Judge not...

Judge not.

The oath was written for times like these

So, I had a discussion today with my trainees regarding the integrity of my company when we were taking a beating during the years when we couldn't match the numbers other companies were putting on the board. When it came out later they were cheating, we were certainly vindicated, but we spent a lot of years with our stock in the toilet at least partially because of it.

Then this evening, L&O SVU had a case regarding a psychiatrist who participated in "torture-lite" in Iraq and didn't think it really conflicted with her Hippocratic Oath.

So, the question is, when do you abandon some principles for others when they conflict? When do you just abandon your principles? If you find a wallet with $1000, do you return it? Return it empty? Take the money and send the wallet back anonymously? Take the money and chuck the wallet?

If you're against war, is it ever okay? What about the US entrance into WWII? Is it okay if you try everything else first?

If you're against hate, is it okay to hate a racist? Is it okay to judge the whole person based on the fact that they are a racist?

If you're against murder, do you convict the parent that kills a child's killer? Is murder ever justifiable? Are you against the death penalty, even if it's only given out when someone is convicted of murder?

Family hell

So, we went to a family reunion (Pants side, and they aren't aware of this site, so I will feel free to family-bash). Spent the day up north. Hmmm.

First, might I just say, I love my children and they are the best children on earth. Kitten went all day without a nap and it only got dicey at the very end. Meimei was her usual joyful self, but was especially cute in the process today. Yay for my gorgeous, well-behaved kids!

But then, um, yeah. Let's start with the two vicious dogs, who apparently hate all humans, that were oh-so-wisely brought to a family reunion where there would clearly be children. My kid's scared enough of dogs without experiencing your mongrel threatening to tear her face off this afternoon, but only when she got within 2 feet, you evil minion of satan.

But yay for my brother-in-law's big, loveable Golden that does exactly as he's told and let Kitten pet him as much as she wanted and would wait patiently while she got up the guts to get close enough to do it. He didn't even try to lick her. Or take away her chocolate brownie. Good dog.

And boo for the branch of the family with 8 (or so) adopted, but very poorly supervised children. Um, do you realize your kid is eating rocks? Do you know he's shoving his fists into the jello, smashing handfuls into his mouth, and wiping the rest on his sweatshirt? "Boy behavior" does not begin to explain this. If you would stop adopting kids and actually parent the ones you have, they might actually have a clue about appropriate behavior. If your kid screams in my kid's face one more time, I'm gonna take him down.

Ugh, I hate these things. MIL gets all tense and freaky, and then Pants gets all tense and freaky, and BIL's wife gets all weird and catty and defensive, and SIL just tries to keep her head down and not get asked if she's dating, and BIL drinks all day. The kids's schedules get all out of wack and we're on the edge all day of nuclear meltdown. We have to run after Kitten all day, so we're both wiped out at the end of it.

Working Girl

So I've put in a whole (partial due to holiday, actually) work week without major mishap. Kitten is hoarse from the screaming, which is in turn a reaction to being over-tired and dealing with the change. But Meimei is doing quite well and is perfectly content.

And me? The sheer glee with which I returned to work surprised even me. After several bad nights of sleeping because of the kids, I was still up and rarin' to go. Let's get dressed, let's go to daycare, Let's go to work! Yay! I know that I was not cut out to do daycare. Can you imagine multiplying my kids by 5 and trying to get everyone through the day? It haunts my nightmares.

But my job? Love it. I got to pull audit evidence yesterday (that was due yesterday, even though my boss was notified 2 1/2 weeks ago). It got dumped on me because I have little or nothing to do except what is pushed off on me because no one had time. And yeah, normally I hate audits, but I loved it. Sick, isn't it?

So, even though the company hasn't gotten the paperwork yet that shows I'm back, so I can't update my benefits, check payroll to ensure I'm going to get paid, or anything else having to do with payment or benefits, and even though I was kicked out of the Learning website so I can't finish any of the mandatory training until I get a password reset, and even though I lost half my stuff because someone moved into my desk and I just got my phone reinstated on Friday, I'm loving it.

What's REALLY going on?

So here we are, before the sun rises on a new year. Not a creature is stirring in this house but me and Lewis Black on HBO. So what's coming for the year?

1. I rightly received a smackdown from Pants, who was reading a post I was writing and left up that was not terribly complimentary to him regarding the situation surrounding his lost cell phone. This year, I have promised not to post anything that I have not bitched to him about first.
2. I will work on bringing my lunch to work and eating out less in general. It is bad for us and costs too much money. It's generally just laziness (whenever I use that word, substitute: depression). It's going to be hard to make dinner at night for the family, but in the end it's usually quicker to make something simple like ravioli or mac & cheese than to wait for a pizza or go out and get something. So, screaming toddler be damned, I will attempt to make dinner and eat at home.
3. I will attempt to eat breakfast. This is more for my health than anything else and I can start a kettle of water or just put some in the microwave before I get up the girls to get dressed. Then I can just mix it with the instant oatmeal in a disposable cup and be out the door. No fuss, no muss.
4. I will attempt to make the best decisions possible whenever I can this year, not take the easy way out, stay strong when I want to be weak.

And that's it. A couple of specific items, but mostly just making wise decisions. If I fall down today, I can get back up tomorrow and keep moving on.

Those are my resolutions, these are my wishes. I will wish to make more good decisions than bad. I will wish at the end of every day for one more day to start over. I will wish for the wisdom to raise my daughters into women like those that I know and love today. I will wish for compassion and passion and happiness. And sleep.

Happy New Year to all of you. I wish you a year of wisdom and peace.

There is something I want to do

I remembered something I wanted to do with my life. This may sound weird or dopey, but I want to start speaking to schools about driving safety and wearing seatbelts. I have wanted to do this since my brother died, but I don't know how to get started. I'm not really looking to get paid (although one day maybe it could turn into a nice second paycheck for a couple of speaking engagements here and there), I really just want to speak to kids about wearing seatbelts.

My style

That's right. Fear me, I will melt you and then adopt some kittens before they are euthanized.

Oddly, in the Last Laugh '06 Poll on comedycentral.com, I came out as Kim Jong Il.

The joy of denial

Let me just say that denial, when used correctly, is quite a useful tool. There are times and places for denial.

Let me provide an example: When I was in the hospital awaiting my gall bladder surgery, which we weren't sure when it would take place because it was the weekend and my case was no longer an emergency, someone asked me if I was scared. I wasn't because I was in total denial. I had done what I needed to do: gotten myself to the emergency room while still leaving my kids cared for, worked out the whole nursing-while-in-hospital thing, made the decision to have the surgery immediately instead of coming back in a week or two, etc. Then I blissfully put it out of my mind. Why dwell? All emergent issues were taken care of, the decisions were made. Time to read my O! magazine and watch HGTV. This, my friends, is the time for denial.

Another wonderful time for denial is while you are waiting to have your kid. No sense dwelling, it's going to be what it is. Just go with the flow.

Blood in your urine? Call the doctor, set up the appointment, go on your merry way. Don't look it up on the internet and decide you have cancer. Don't put these thoughts in your head, just let the doctors work it out.

So folks, do what needs to be done and then let the chips fall after that. There are things you can control and things you can't. Control the ones you can and let the rest go.

Who I am

For the month, while I cannot really write daily, as stuff usually comes up, I am working to blog as much as I can and I am focusing on myself and introspection. I know, I know, "Woo hoo, Syl's philosophical crap all month!" So come or go, it's my site.

So this is who I am. I am someone who, if she schedules with you, schedules the rest of the day or at least several hours longer than anything actually takes. I do not, stack appointments, or if I do, I freak out all day that things will run over time and I will have to inconvenience someone. I don't like to tell people no, so I don't overschedule if I can help it.

This has a double benefit in that, with any extra time, I can usually spend some time with myself. As an introvert, this is priceless.

Pants is the kind of person who schedules as much in a day as possible, which can cause conflict. Case in point: my dad has invited us for a barbecue on Saturday, starting at 3. We are going, but Pants also wants to catch a movie afterward with a friend (The Departed). This works at this point because we usually have to be home early anyway to put Kitten to bed, but in the past it's been the point of contention - Pants made plans on a day when we were going to my dad's house. Because my dad is like me - plans for the whole day.

And maybe that is why I do it, too. My dad plans for the whole day. My mom plans for the whole day, or at least used to expect me to follow along with whatever plans she had made for the day. So when I make plans, I often just schedule out the day and put someone else in the driver's seat. I'll do whatever you want to do, for as long as you want to do it. (Zip it, Jaysan)

So going forward, I will work on asserting my will, or at least attempting to have one. Maybe that's really the issue: I don't think my plans are worth someone else's (see how valuable this writing stuff is? better than therapy!). I don't think my time is worth someone else's.

It all comes back to me not asking for what I want or need because, deep down, I don't feel like it's as important as other's needs. It's funny how this one thing seeps it's way into everything. Go figure.

The coolest people ever

Ok, I have the best friends ever.

By next, I guess I was wondering why I don't have one big overriding dream. Maybe I was coveting someone else's life again. Maybe it's just a fun tagline, like the stock answer we all have for the question "Tell me something interesting about yourself." (I once lived with a murderer. Not really that interesting, but it makes a great lead-in.)

You know what's really sad about a "lifelong dream?" It sounds like something you will never accomplish. Maybe that's why I don't have one. I can't think of much I would want to do that I don't believe I could do. And in a lot of ways, my friends are responsible for that. I have kayaked Lake Superior, rock-climbed somewhere other than a pre-fab wall, given birth with only a marginally effective epidural (ok, none of you helped with that one), and looked deep into my own dark corners and came out still standing.

So maybe I don't have a lifelong dream because when I want to do something, I do it. And that's a pretty satisfying feeling.

Once again, you ladies are the best friends a girl could have.