A new wrinkle

As of today, I have 13 days until I return to the doctor and start physical therapy. My disability will run for one additional week (unless I still can't put pressure on my knee, I imagine).

Meaning that I have less than 3 weeks before I will return to work.

While the idea of having something to do during the day fills me with utter glee, I suddenly realized this evening that I'm not sure what I'm going to wear. That might seem silly - many of you have seen me out and about with actual clothes on.

My office is business casual, but my team usually gets away with jeans on most days. However, the extent of my current ass-covering wardrobethat fits over my bulky isolation cast includes two pairs of nylon running shorts, two pairs of pajama pants, one pair of knee-length sweat pants, and one pair of very casual knee-length pants that look like cut-off sweats. When I'm not out and don't expect company, I can usually be found in a nightgown or pajamas of some sort (so call if you're coming, I'm just saying).

Of the items I have, I think only two are truly work appropriate - the pink sweatpants and the blue pajama pants. I might be able to squeeze in the black sweats that look like cutoffs, but that's stretching the office dress code, even for me.

So here I sit, suddenly wondering what I'm going to wear on my return to work in three weeks. I browsed around the internets for dresses but it seemed expensive and impractical to fill out my wardrobe with a bunch of dresses I can only wear once. If I opt for pants, I'm would have to cut the left leg off each pair so they will go over my cast.

So my options are:

• a couple of versatile skirts, although I'm going to have to wear shorts underneath so my thighs don't light on fire on my way in from the parking ramp.
  
• More basic pajama pants like these - although I have them in blue and the only other appropriate option is black.
  
• Gauchos - are these still in?

And that's all I could find. Any suggestions, internet? I have a limited budget and one big, fat leg. And although I can't weigh myself, I can only assume my butt is growing as I speak.

Back to the 50s

Ok, so from a Jezebel.com article I clicked over to the Anti-Misandry.com site and read this article on why men shouldn't get married. And all the way through the article I wondered, "Who are these people?"

I don't know women who insist that their fiancees spend their life savings on weddings. Or even engagement rings. In fact, I know women who didn't have an engagement ring and were absolutely fine with it. And I don't remember being asked if I wanted one or not - my husband went overboard, as far as I was concerned. And if you're going to blame the engagement ring requirement on a De Beers ad campaign from the 40s, you may as well point the finger at your own gender - I'm pretty sure it was a male-dominated field at that time.

I don't know women who insist on staying home with their kids. The families I know with children weigh the cost of daycare against the cost of working and make a joint decision based on what's best for the family. If staying home is a moral decision, it is agreed upon by both parents from the outset (before the children arrive) and accommodations are made from day 1 to make that a possibility. In fact, I know stay-at-home dads who do so because they make less than their spouse and the money works out better. And as far as a man being trapped in a career or job because they are the sole bread-winner, welcome to life. Suck it up, pal, a lot of us are trapped at one time or another because the money is too good to quit. Or have an honest talk with the family unit about making changes in lifestyle so you can explore other options. Any wife who flatly refuses is someone you shouldn't have married in the first place.

I don't know anyone with a maid, or a cook, or a nanny. People with that kind of money are a bit rarefied for those of us down here working our asses off to pay the bills each month. Grow a spine and say no.

The marriages described in the article appear as nothing more than a caricature or a TV sitcom, the same sitcoms they rail against for their anti-male message. I agree that men are portrayed deplorably on TV - so are women and children. Entertainment is essentially bringing stereotypical behavior to an extreme to produce laughs, generally at someone's expense. It's not a portrayal of real life. NO ONE WOULD WATCH THAT SHOW. But I'm not sure the marriages described here actually exist either.

In the end, the ultimate power over the marriage rests with the two people involved. I don't believe anyone has any business getting a marriage license until both parties have disclosed the entire state of their finances and credit history and had discussions at length regarding children, work, division of labor inside the house, and what will happen in the event of several predicatable crises (death of a spouse, job loss, affair, etc.). These discussions should not stop at the alter, they should continue throughout the marriage as life and circumstances change. If either party is not willing to have these discussions, the other one should run for their life.

So if any man finds himself "trapped" in a job he doesn't like because he was "forced" to be the sole provider for the family while his wife is out shopping and living a life of leisure while the children are in school, he has only to blame himself. He chose the woman, married her blindly without having some important discussion, and allows the behavior he finds so odious to continue.

My marriage is a partnership where we both make decisions based upon our financial and emotional health and that of our family. We are both fully responsible for the exact place we are at in life and there is no blame game. When things get tough, we take responsibility for our own shortcomings and the problems that resulted and we work together for solutions.

And as Jezebel pointed out, misandry definitely exists, but the movement won't get far when it's solely populated with misogynists.

Casting Call for Stephanie Plum

I promised my mom today that I would cast the Janet Evanovich "Stephanie Plum" novels. So here goes (some castings have options):

Stephanie Plum: amatuer bounty hunter in Trenton NJ. I like Ginnifer Goodwin and she has a bit of the roundness in her face suggesting more of a hungarian look (Steph is half Italian, half hungarian). Anne Hathaway could also pull it off, I think.

Joe Morelli: hot Italian lothario turned responsible cop, Steph's on-again-off-again lover. Adrian Grenier has the look, but he's too happy. Ryan Reynolds doesn't feel Italian enough, but he smolders more. Too old, though. Jury is still out on this one.

Ranger (Carlos Manoso): Latin bounty hunter and object of Steph's occasional lust. The only suitable male I found was Jay Hernandez, although he looks a little young (actual age is appropriate). Super hot, super mysterious.

Lula: former 'ho, larger than life and stuffed into too-small clothing. We all agree it has to be Queen Latifah.

Connie: the no-nonsense bail bonds office manager. Debi Mazur for sure, although my mom likes Leah Remini for it.

Grandma Mazur: crazy old grandma with way too much energy and not enough rationality, attends funerals as a hobby. Mom likes Betty White but I'm leaning towards Cloris Leachman.

Stephanie's parents: her mother just wants her to be like other Italian daughters in the burg - married with kids. Her father just wants to be left in peace - he talks under his breath a lot. I came up with two pairs: Jaclyn Smith and Kevin Spacey as a younger set or Tom Bergeron and Swoosie Kurtz as an older set. I think Tom ends up with more audible lines, though, so I'm going younger. Jaclyn Smith and Kevin Spacey it is.

Vinnie Plum: sleazy owner of the bail bonds operation and Stephanie's cousin. I could only think of one good Italian-looking sleaze and it was Jon Favreau. Keep your hands off Connie before she pulls her Glock, dude.

Feel free to throw in your two cents.