Friday, July 24, 2009

A new wrinkle

As of today, I have 13 days until I return to the doctor and start physical therapy. My disability will run for one additional week (unless I still can't put pressure on my knee, I imagine).

Meaning that I have less than 3 weeks before I will return to work.

While the idea of having something to do during the day fills me with utter glee, I suddenly realized this evening that I'm not sure what I'm going to wear. That might seem silly - many of you have seen me out and about with actual clothes on.

My office is business casual, but my team usually gets away with jeans on most days. However, the extent of my current ass-covering wardrobethat fits over my bulky isolation cast includes two pairs of nylon running shorts, two pairs of pajama pants, one pair of knee-length sweat pants, and one pair of very casual knee-length pants that look like cut-off sweats. When I'm not out and don't expect company, I can usually be found in a nightgown or pajamas of some sort (so call if you're coming, I'm just saying).

Of the items I have, I think only two are truly work appropriate - the pink sweatpants and the blue pajama pants. I might be able to squeeze in the black sweats that look like cutoffs, but that's stretching the office dress code, even for me.

So here I sit, suddenly wondering what I'm going to wear on my return to work in three weeks. I browsed around the internets for dresses but it seemed expensive and impractical to fill out my wardrobe with a bunch of dresses I can only wear once. If I opt for pants, I'm would have to cut the left leg off each pair so they will go over my cast.

So my options are:
  • a couple of versatile skirts, although I'm going to have to wear shorts underneath so my thighs don't light on fire on my way in from the parking ramp.
  • More basic pajama pants like these - although I have them in blue and the only other appropriate option is black.
  • Gauchos - are these still in?
And that's all I could find. Any suggestions, internet? I have a limited budget and one big, fat leg. And although I can't weigh myself, I can only assume my butt is growing as I speak.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Back to the 50s

Ok, so from a article I clicked over to the site and read this article on why men shouldn't get married. And all the way through the article I wondered, "Who are these people?"

I don't know women who insist that their fiancees spend their life savings on weddings. Or even engagement rings. In fact, I know women who didn't have an engagement ring and were absolutely fine with it. And I don't remember being asked if I wanted one or not - my husband went overboard, as far as I was concerned. And if you're going to blame the engagement ring requirement on a De Beers ad campaign from the 40s, you may as well point the finger at your own gender - I'm pretty sure it was a male-dominated field at that time.

I don't know women who insist on staying home with their kids. The families I know with children weigh the cost of daycare against the cost of working and make a joint decision based on what's best for the family. If staying home is a moral decision, it is agreed upon by both parents from the outset (before the children arrive) and accommodations are made from day 1 to make that a possibility. In fact, I know stay-at-home dads who do so because they make less than their spouse and the money works out better. And as far as a man being trapped in a career or job because they are the sole bread-winner, welcome to life. Suck it up, pal, a lot of us are trapped at one time or another because the money is too good to quit. Or have an honest talk with the family unit about making changes in lifestyle so you can explore other options. Any wife who flatly refuses is someone you shouldn't have married in the first place.

I don't know anyone with a maid, or a cook, or a nanny. People with that kind of money are a bit rarefied for those of us down here working our asses off to pay the bills each month. Grow a spine and say no.

The marriages described in the article appear as nothing more than a caricature or a TV sitcom, the same sitcoms they rail against for their anti-male message. I agree that men are portrayed deplorably on TV - so are women and children. Entertainment is essentially bringing stereotypical behavior to an extreme to produce laughs, generally at someone's expense. It's not a portrayal of real life. NO ONE WOULD WATCH THAT SHOW. But I'm not sure the marriages described here actually exist either.

In the end, the ultimate power over the marriage rests with the two people involved. I don't believe anyone has any business getting a marriage license until both parties have disclosed the entire state of their finances and credit history and had discussions at length regarding children, work, division of labor inside the house, and what will happen in the event of several predicatable crises (death of a spouse, job loss, affair, etc.). These discussions should not stop at the alter, they should continue throughout the marriage as life and circumstances change. If either party is not willing to have these discussions, the other one should run for their life.

So if any man finds himself "trapped" in a job he doesn't like because he was "forced" to be the sole provider for the family while his wife is out shopping and living a life of leisure while the children are in school, he has only to blame himself. He chose the woman, married her blindly without having some important discussion, and allows the behavior he finds so odious to continue.

My marriage is a partnership where we both make decisions based upon our financial and emotional health and that of our family. We are both fully responsible for the exact place we are at in life and there is no blame game. When things get tough, we take responsibility for our own shortcomings and the problems that resulted and we work together for solutions.

And as Jezebel pointed out, misandry definitely exists, but the movement won't get far when it's solely populated with misogynists.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Casting Call for Stephanie Plum

I promised my mom today that I would cast the Janet Evanovich "Stephanie Plum" novels. So here goes (some castings have options):

Stephanie Plum: amatuer bounty hunter in Trenton NJ. I like Ginnifer Goodwin and she has a bit of the roundness in her face suggesting more of a hungarian look (Steph is half Italian, half hungarian). Anne Hathaway could also pull it off, I think.

Joe Morelli: hot Italian lothario turned responsible cop, Steph's on-again-off-again lover. Adrian Grenier has the look, but he's too happy. Ryan Reynolds doesn't feel Italian enough, but he smolders more. Too old, though. Jury is still out on this one.

Ranger (Carlos Manoso): Latin bounty hunter and object of Steph's occasional lust. The only suitable male I found was Jay Hernandez, although he looks a little young (actual age is appropriate). Super hot, super mysterious.

Lula: former 'ho, larger than life and stuffed into too-small clothing. We all agree it has to be Queen Latifah.

Connie: the no-nonsense bail bonds office manager. Debi Mazur for sure, although my mom likes Leah Remini for it.

Grandma Mazur: crazy old grandma with way too much energy and not enough rationality, attends funerals as a hobby. Mom likes Betty White but I'm leaning towards Cloris Leachman.

Stephanie's parents: her mother just wants her to be like other Italian daughters in the burg - married with kids. Her father just wants to be left in peace - he talks under his breath a lot. I came up with two pairs: Jaclyn Smith and Kevin Spacey as a younger set or Tom Bergeron and Swoosie Kurtz as an older set. I think Tom ends up with more audible lines, though, so I'm going younger. Jaclyn Smith and Kevin Spacey it is.

Vinnie Plum: sleazy owner of the bail bonds operation and Stephanie's cousin. I could only think of one good Italian-looking sleaze and it was Jon Favreau. Keep your hands off Connie before she pulls her Glock, dude.

Feel free to throw in your two cents.

Side View

In this view from the side, which highlights the fact that the plates are not parallel (the large plate is on the side while the smaller plate is on the back facing forward), you can see the three screws holding the smaller plate in place. You can also see the braces on the top of the larger plate that extend the support across the front of the bone. Fibula is the small bone to the left.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


You are looking at my tibia in x-ray - the front of my leg is on the right and the back is on the left. The plates are shoring up the tibia bone, which bears the weight of the body in the lower part of the leg (the fibula doesn't bear much weight). Dr. Pittman did not want to have to put a plate in the back, since that's where all of the blood vessels and nerves are and they don't like to play around back there. But note the plate in the back. He didn't want my knee to just keep falling out of the joint.

Yeah, that's what he said.

Just. Keep. Falling. Out.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Random Thoughts

Pants and I have decided that after my long recovery and convalescence on the couch, the living room furniture will be banished to the basement and we will have to get something else. Between the broken leg, the last 3-4 months of both of my pregnancies, and his vigilance with The Hammer keeping him up nights, the cushions are going to be on the floor soon.

I got sucked into a bit of nostalgia tonight and googled my ex from high school. Turns out he has 7 albums, 6 available on for download. I'm tempted to download New Year's Day off his last album - D-Day for our relationship. They call it a catchy disco/Motown tune. You know you wanna hear it.

Since I was in a stalkery mood, I tried googling another ex, but the name is far too common. Bummer, dude.

But all this talk about CDs and writing music makes me want to write a novel. I'm just not sure I can write something that isn't complete drivel. Alas, I still don't think I'll sign up for NaNo this year. I will have some atoning to do come September for this leg thing that should last well through the end of the year.

Both Kitten and The Hammer ate ceasar salad tonight. With lettuce and everything. Kitten even asked for more. Holy crap, my kid's eating a vegetable! Lettuce counts, right? Even smothered in ceasar dressing?

I swore off the Unisom today because not only does it make me sleep until noon, it also makes me all wobbly when I get up. Bad combination, wobbly and crutches. I'm trying the relaxation instead.

Finished Pat Conroy's Beach Music today - for the fifth or sixth time. The first time was on cassette tape in my Pontiac driving from Michigan to college at the end of spring break. I wept my way through my entire home state in the middle of a snowstorm, so heartbreaking were the last 10 or so chapters. I return to the book every few years and it's one of the few books I own that actually looks like I've read it.

The surprises continue

Yeah, check the time on this post. What is Syl doing up, you ask? Syl asks herself the same question. I took an expired Unisom over an hour ago and still can't sleep. Last night's pill knocked me out flat. Damn expiration dates.

The main problem is my leg, of course. After the surgery, parts of my leg were almost completely numb - side affect from getting the plates in place. The nerves got jumbled or nicked and those areas went numb. Doc said I might always be just a bit numb right around the incisions, but whatever.

What I hadn't planned on really was those numb places to start coming back to life. They aren't whistling and skipping happily back, either. They are pissed off. I can still feel the numbness under the skin in those spots, but the skin itself feels like a 3rd degree razor burn and anything brushing against it is annoying as hell. It feels like I'm covered in ants.

Additionally, the muscles and fascia underneath the skin are coming back, albeit more slowly, so I get tingles up and down my leg as those parts test themselves out. I know that you know what it feels like to have your hand go numb and then wake up. It's a milder version of that, but it lasts for hours, days, weeks.

When I was pregnant, I had Restless Leg Syndrome. In fact, we guessed The Hammer's due date by when I started having RLS and it was eerily accurate (I think they ended up changing it by 3 days). This is like having much more persistant RLS, but on one side. It strikes mostly at night when I'm trying to sleep and makes it nearly impossible. I am trying to do some autogenic relaxation, which helped when I was pregnant, but I think I need to get the CD out again. Going through it in my head just isn't cutting it anymore.

So, tomorrow's list:
  • Tylenol PM
  • Move the CD player to my rolling fun cart
  • Send Pants to hunt down my relaxation CD downstairs
It has to be better than taking expired sleep aids that will decide on their own when and how they will work.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Groundhog's Day

My first post-op appointment was today and I had the staples removed from my incisions. Apparently there were around 40 and although it's a relatively simple thing, I nearly yakked when it was over. I actually had to lay down. I got through the break, the ambulance ride, the splint, the surgery, and it's the removal of the staples that makes me want to puke. Weird.

They did a couple more x-rays to see how much progress has been made. Although he said it was going really well, apparently my leg saw its shadow and I have 4 more weeks before I can bear any weight on it. That's another 4 weeks before I'm allowed back to work or to exercise the leg at all on my own.

He also said the swelling and tingling in my leg would come and go and that I shouldn't let it stop me from getting up and about, as long as I'm not bearing weight on my leg. So altogether, good news, but I keep thinking this should be going much faster than it is. He reminded me again how serious and traumatic the injury was and that I have to be patient and let the cartilage rebuild itself. Bones heal in 4-6 weeks but cartilage takes longer.

Book Crack Update

It sounds like we've all finished the book, so I've posted 15 discussion questions. Feel free to go off on any, all, or none, or create your own discussions.

The next book selection will be posted August 15.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009


So here I am, still sitting on the couch with little to do. And of course, the only thing on TV today was the Michael Jackson memorial. So yeah, we watched it.

I read an article days ago about Jackson appearing on the 25th anniversary of Motown special and performing the moon walk for the first time, exploding into popular music with Billie Jean and his hot dance moves.

The article, not those about his oddities, or the molestation trials, or those about his kids or drug use or parentage, that article brought back for five minutes the feeling of being 9 and absolutely worshiping Michael Jackson. Playing the Thriller album over and over and staring at him with the tiger. Performing a dance to Thriller with my best friend in 4th grade, in an absolute mockery of Michael Jackson and the idea of the talent show (we didn't make the show; if it had been the gong show, they would have been fighting over the gong to get us out of there).

So thank you to the nameless someone who brought me back to the iconic days when Michael Jackson was just the king of pop making great music. It didn't last, but it felt really good to go back there, even for a few minutes.

Friday, July 03, 2009

In the news

Dead Celebrities - I don't want to see retrospectives. I don't want to see "never-before-seen" home videos. I don't want to see pictures of people in the back of an ambulance, pictures of their children, pictures of their family, or mourners, or the house they lived in when they were 5. I don't want to know who's going to get the kids or the house or the millions. I can remember the good parts without glossing over the awful or pretending it didn't happen.

Sarah Palin resigns as Governor of Alaska - WTF? Since when is a governor with 18 months left in office a lame duck? Don't even pretend you're doing something noble for Alaska. Sarah Palin is all about Sarah Palin and what everyone else can do for her. If she thinks she's going to run for president on the Republican ticket in 2012, she's out of her mind - her star is tarnished and the party blames her for McCain's loss. And with 2 1/2 more years before the election, there's too much time on the public stage for her to seal her own fate with her mouth. So best of luck Sarah. I hope Alaska is better off with the Lieutenant Governor you are giving a leg up and I hope I hear very little from you for the rest of my life.

MN Senate Race - I don't know how this played nationally, but it was pretty huge news here. Al Franken was declared the winner of the Senate race by the MN Supreme Court by just over 300 votes and Norm Coleman has conceded. Minnesota should have a second sitting senator early next week.

Our governer has also declared his intentions not to run again, and it appears that while Republican governors are starting to jockey for position on the 2012 ticket, several are having a difficult time keeping their personal lives out of the media. Affairs keep bringing them down. Poor Republican party, in bed with the Christian Right and family values wonks and yet their candidates keep proving to be so damn fallible. Affairs funded by public money, pregnant teenage daughters, what's a Republican to do?

Other Random Thoughts

Mostly non-leg related.

Meimei has taken to calling herself "The Hammer". As in, "I'm the Hammer!" And going forward, that is how she will be known here. We're hoping it's a reference to Handy Manny, but all the tools have names. So I guess she's The Hammer.

I think I'm going to pick up crocheting again, since I seem to have some time on my hands...

For some weird reason, my nails are absolutely fabulous and I have no desire to bite them. It certainly can't be the drugs I'm on, but I have no idea why they look so nice.

Does anyone know anyone who can cut fine hair and is willing to make a house call? I just want a straight cut about chin length without the pain of hauling my leg into a shop.

We have started the ball rolling to get our roof replaced. Next up, basement refinishing...

I got up and made the kids toast this morning. And got them some milk. Yay!