Monday, January 29, 2007

She's gone nuclear

Although we have been battling with simmering temper tantrums for a couple of weeks, Kitten finally had a 3-Mile Island core breach that threatened to turn into a Chernobyl firestorm, spewing toxic waste throughout the tri-state area.

It was over the cheese limit.

Now, I know Kitten is tired and hungry when we get home and I know it's hard to wait for dinner, but we're not even asking her to wait. She gets her cheese right away and then she get's something else, usually yogurt or something else acceptable to her picky little palate, while I get dinner prepared. She then eats again if she is willing to try it. So it's not like we're starving the child.

But tonight, she did not curry well to the 2 slice maximum. She threw a fit when I tried to offer her some yogurt. She threw a bigger fit when I offered her cinnamon sugar baked pita chips, which I specifically purchased for her. She threw a fit when I offered her some milk. She cried the whole time. Then she threw herself on the floor and kicked her feet. She pushed herself around the floor with her angry little legs. She screamed and cried. It was all I could do not to laugh.

I gave up trying to reason with her several minutes before Pants did. Finally, I told him outright to just leave her be. I know he doesn't like to hear her cry, but please. This was obviously a power play. I wasn't going to give her the cheese. I had carefully laid out her options. So I let her scream on the floor.

And about 5 minutes after we both stopped paying any attention, she stopped. She quietly got up off the floor and came into the kitchen. I asked if she wanted some yogurt and she nodded her head yes. So she had some yogurt. And some of the pita chips. She even tried them together.

And that was it. She did have another episode about half an hour after she went to bed, but this is not unusual. After a brief visit to her room, which I swear just pisses her off more, I went back upstairs and turned off the monitor.

So that's it. We're clearly being played. And I was totally buying into it.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Stuff that's dumb

Ah yes, it's the triumphant return of stuff that's dumb (the Non-Political Smear Ads edition)!

Heard on American Idol (I think): "I like to make sure I look good, it helps my confidentiality." Huh?

Children's clothing sizes - my 5 month old, a perfectly average-size child, is wearing 12 month clothing. But the dress for her baptism was a 6 month size and fit well, even just a touch big. At least some people can estimate better, although I freaked out when I looked at the tag, as it was shipped from Tennessee a few days before the event (don't ask, everything always gets more complicated than it should be).

Pants discovered a plywood door behind the opening to the well that is hinged on the top, but was in the open position. Don't you think that's something the previous owners might have mentioned during one of the, oh, FIVE meetings we had with them here in the house? "Oh, by the way, during the winter it gets BUTT COLD down here unless you close this little flap that you can no longer see when it's open. Just thought you might like to know."

On all the crime shows, everyone's house is so clean the detectives can easily see the stuff that's out of place. And it made me think, what if there was a crime in my house? Would they ever solve the crime? Would they be able to find the evidence amid the 3-week-old cheerios ground into the carpet?

Hack it up (fuzzball)

"Oh honey, you sound awful. I thought you were feeling better. Your blog said you were feeling better."
"Yeah, I felt pretty good on Thursday, but then it moved into my chest."
"Don't let that go on very long before you get to the doctor."
"Mother, what could they possibly do for me? I'm already on an antibiotic."
"Are you still on it?"
"I just got it Tuesday. It's for ten days."
"Oh. My last one was for five, so I didn't know."
"Nice cover, Ma."

Friday, January 26, 2007

Bush's real legacy

So, I'm watching Mysteries of the Smithsonian, and they are showing the Star Spangled Banner (yes, the actual one that inspired the poem/song), and the woman says that after September 11, they felt that they shouldn't remove the flag from the people, so they started restoring it in full view of visitors in it's own special room.

Only, I know she's full of crap.

On September 10, 2001, Pants and I were on the Mall in Washington, in the American History Smithsonian, watching them work on the Star Spangled Banner in a special room built specifically for restoring the flag in full view of the visiting public.

Would everyone please just stop invoking September 11 when it has no business in conversation?

Thursday, January 25, 2007

2 slice limit

We've had to start a maximum of 2 pieces of cheese so Kitten will eat other foods. She has actually taken it well, although she is sure to get both slices in - there will be no skimping on the cheese.

We think she is starting to get her 2-year molars, though. We're grasping at straws here, as she has been a quivering mass of screaming fury and uncontrollable confusion every night this week (except, oddly, tonight). So we're hoping it's the teeth, and not the onset of the terrible twos. Which we imagine will be even more terrible with this little piece of work.

Meimei is a bit ill, although we really just figured it out today. She's become quite easy-going and it's hard to tell when she's unhappy. She hasn't been able to sleep alone, but she has slept just fine with me this week. I put some Vicks Baby rub on her tonight and she conked out immediately - open mouth and everything. But I put her in the crib and she lasted less than 20 minutes. I picked her back up and she was out again. When this is over, I fear trying to get her back into her own bed. Hopefully she'll be sleeping alone before she goes to high school.

So that's the new around el Casa del Pants. I am feeling better and went to work today. Nothing else in the house has broken (well, that's not true, I dropped something onto the child-proof covers and broke one of the stove knobs, and the little soap door on the dishwasher isn't opening during the cycle again), but Pant's car isn't starting so great. I hate that piece of crap. But my car is lovely, thank you. The kids have car seats, toys and clothes, there's a small amount of food in the fridge (but only because I haven't been shopping, not because we can't afford it), it hasn't snowed enough to make us miserable that the snowblower doesn't work, and I have a rockin' husband who couldn't be any cooler if he were [insert famous hot guy you like here].

P.S. - I am, once again, regularly taking my meds. Thanks, my name is Syl.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Riding the Q

Is it wrong to drop a NyQuil and do your taxes?

I have a raging, "it's eating my face" sinus infection, so I am home on the couch, taking NyQuil and an antibiotic and wating for them to kick in. So this will either get really funny or just tragically wayward.

I was watching CSI Miami on A&E, but as soon as I got into it, the sound started skipping. This does not appear to be happening on any other channel, but this is one of the reasons I got rid of satellite. Why can't I just watch TV? I thought I could catch previous episodes of the Daily Show and Colbert Report through On Demand, but it appears that they only have clips from previous shows, not whole episodes. So I can't watch last night's shows, which hopefully were re: the State of the Union address. That is, until they play at their given times today, which I believe are noon and 7 p.m.

And how about that SOTU address? I didn't hear "I fucked up." What I heard was, "If you wait long enough, I'm sure you will see I am right." How is this any different from what we have been hearing for the last 7 years?

I do intend to do my taxes as far as I can with the paperwork I have. Which I don't think is much besides our W2s.

Okay, instead of getting funny, or even wayward, I'm just zoning out now. So I'm off until later, since it's been about 10 minutes since the last sentence.

Monday, January 22, 2007

I gave birth to Pusher's magic love child

Kitten will now eat nothing but cheese. These are her grudging words when we arrive home every day, she goes to the fridge, holds the handles, and throws a fit if we don't provide the cheese. When we open the door, she points to the drawer where she knows it is kept, and we can't even tell her there is no cheese, as, alas, the drawers on the new fridge are clear.

We went to the 5-8 tonight because there is a lack of dinner food at home, and we ordered Kitten a grilled cheese sandwich. Pants also brought 2 cheese slices from home to appease her while we waited for her meal (judiciously ordered with our drinks). Kitten tried ever so hard to peel the sandwich apart and only eat the cheese, but it was melted into the bread so she had to eat the whole thing. We are considering melting cheese over yogurt to see what happens.

No human should eat this amount of cheese. Especially not one that weighs 25 pounds. She is only discerning with her cheese in the fact that if yellow cheese is available, white cheese must be immediately abandoned. We can sometimes get her to eat something else if no cheese is available, but again, we can't lie about the cheese status because she can plainly see it in the drawer.

I repeat, no human should eat this much cheese. Oh when will this phase end?

Saturday, January 20, 2007

You guessed it

So, it's 9:30 Saturday night, Meimei has gotten back up and it does not appear she will be sleeping anytime real soon, and you know it. The invitations for tomorrow aren't done. It really shouldn't take long once I get down to it, but I just haven't done it. I just had Pants go down and hook the printer back up tonight before he left to go see Rocky.

And yes, I did this the other night to continue to avoid working on it, but they did actually get completed before the event itself. They weren't perfect, but they were pretty close.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Random Thoughts

In the category of stuff I never thought I'd do again - laying out my clothes for the entire week. I have started doing it for the girls and it just makes things so much easier. Not that it speeds things up more than a minute or two, but the ease of not having to match pants to a shirt in the semi-dark or finding matching socks (to the outfit and to each other) is hard to beat. So I'm going to start laying out my clothes too.

I'm going to go to Target tomorrow and get some food for lunches. Some soup, pudding, healthy snacky items and such. We tend to run quite late here and having something ready to eat at work is better than eating out.

We got our Visa bill today and we both nearly had concurrent heart attacks. Not only did we spend like fools out of our regular account, but we racked up the credit card too. We still carry less than the average American, apparently, but way more than we are comfortable with. Between Christmas, when I admittedly went way too nuts, and new tires for the Intrepid, and new clothes for work for my non-pregnant, yet fatter body, and formula bought by the case, etc., holy crap. I thought Pants was going to blow a nut. So we're going to sit down one day a week and go through the money. I think I'm going to post the current balance on the fridge daily, as well. We tend to spend because we don't have a grasp of the effect on our budget. We both just think we have the money.

Kitten learned to say "God" as an exclamation today, and not because of me. Or Pants. We were watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, which I generally consider a kid-friendly show, but during the reveal the family kept saying, "Oh my God!" And Kitten's such a mimic she picked it up right away. Can't wait to show that one off to grandma.

It's that time again. Baptism time. And no, most of you aren't invited. As I discussed in my regular blog on another site, prior to switching to Blogger, this is not something I feel the need to inflict upon my friends or my extended family. Only the immediate family is beholden to attend. Anyone who is dying to experience a Catholic baptism can contact me for details, otherwise, consider yourselves off the hook if you haven't already been called with the time and date. Except for my Uncle Roy and Aunt Nan - your call is coming tomorrow. As far as invitations go, I am making them but I will be lucky if they are done by Sunday. Meimei's birth announcements still aren't done either, but somehow the invitations seem like something I should finish before Sunday. Even if I don't get to mail them, at least they are like a party favor. Hi, here's the invite for the event you are currently attending. Thanks for coming, hope you were on time.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Ah choo

Not even a full week in daycare and Kitten brought home a raging cold. Which we all now have. Yay! Kitten appears to be feeling better today, just in time for Meimei to start coming down with it. I am in the death throes of the worst part of it and Pants is about 2 days behind me, although he appears to be faring better and may not get it full-blown.

It does give me sexy voice, however. Not that it changes anything in this household, though. In fact, Pants has about 4 times less chance of that going anywhere than usual. And 4 times zero is...

My mom entreated me to take something today, so I did. I had to go to the pharmacy counter, provide my license, sign a book, you'd think I was purchasing crack. Oh. wait. Anyway, so I buy it and take it, it's a 12-hour thing. And I get home and Pants is just putting Kitten down for a nap, and Meimei goes down for a nap, and I have two glorious hours and...

And nothing. I just took a product with pseudoephedrine, the reason I had to get it from the pharmacy counter, so I can't sleep. Can't nap. I keep thinking I'm going out and I wake up about 5 minutes later in the show I'm watching. Crap. So now I feel worse than I did before I took anything. I'm sick and my head is spinning.

And I don't think I can take NyQuil tonight because I still have to get up with Meimei. I would like to take some NyQuil. Maybe I'll just settle for some Jack Daniels. Mmmmm... Gotta go.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Good news/Bad news

The good news is I was starting to look like David Cassidy so I got a haircut today.

The bad news is apparently the hairstylist thought I wanted to look like Shirley Jones.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Working Girl

So I've put in a whole (partial due to holiday, actually) work week without major mishap. Kitten is hoarse from the screaming, which is in turn a reaction to being over-tired and dealing with the change. But Meimei is doing quite well and is perfectly content.

And me? The sheer glee with which I returned to work surprised even me. After several bad nights of sleeping because of the kids, I was still up and rarin' to go. Let's get dressed, let's go to daycare, Let's go to work! Yay! I know that I was not cut out to do daycare. Can you imagine multiplying my kids by 5 and trying to get everyone through the day? It haunts my nightmares.

But my job? Love it. I got to pull audit evidence yesterday (that was due yesterday, even though my boss was notified 2 1/2 weeks ago). It got dumped on me because I have little or nothing to do except what is pushed off on me because no one had time. And yeah, normally I hate audits, but I loved it. Sick, isn't it?

So, even though the company hasn't gotten the paperwork yet that shows I'm back, so I can't update my benefits, check payroll to ensure I'm going to get paid, or anything else having to do with payment or benefits, and even though I was kicked out of the Learning website so I can't finish any of the mandatory training until I get a password reset, and even though I lost half my stuff because someone moved into my desk and I just got my phone reinstated on Friday, I'm loving it.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Trans-Sarhoovian Who?

My dad got us (and 15 of their other closest friends) tickets to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra on December 30 at the Xcel Center. It was a fun show, but I think I somehow damaged my tailbone sitting there so long because it's hurt ever since.

If you have ever seen TSO (like it's some kind of cult or bad 70s band), you know that the first half of the show is a Christmas story told between rocked-up Christmas songs. I hate to ruin the ending for you, but the angel finds the man's daughter, poses as a small child, and goes into a bar to get the bartender to give the girl money to get home for Christmas. The guy who sang this part was pretty good and even made me forget the guy with the long permed black hair and the 80s ballad voice that made me turn to Pants and ask, "Am I the only one having a Ratt flashback?"

So the guy with the cool, deep voice that tells the story just gets to the end of the heart-warming part and the other guy with the better singing voice is singing about how if you are wondering why the people in the bar aren't trying to find their way home, it's because they are already there. Which is really sad, if you think about it, but they really just mean that the people in the bar are so familiar they are like family, not that the people are such drunks that they only feel at home at the bar on Christmas. I guess you're not supposed to think about it too much. Anyway, it's a really nice line in the song and the guy sings it really well and everyone is clapping and cheering, and my dad turns to me and says, "He wishes he had my voice." And I crack up laughing. Very hard.

So anyway, in the middle they do all of the introductions and then they go on to do some rocked-up classical music, which was my favorite part of the show, and some more modern songs. All in all, a fun show that I would recommend.

P.S. - Why is that two men with electric guitars facing each other and playing at each other always look like they are in some kind of masturbatory contest?

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Random Thoughts - Back to work edition

Meimei now sleeps every night in her crib. And last night? Slept from midnight until I had to wake her up. It's a shame, really, having to wake her. I should have stayed in bed.

The children are apparently taking to daycare very well. Mavis (not her real name) says how good they are each day, how advanced Meimei is for her age, how Kitten gets along so well with the other kids. I think she hides my children in the basement and just interacts with their robot clones all day.

Everyone keeps asking if it was hard to go back to work. The answer is no. I like my job, and it's sometimes nice to be appreciated for what you do, instead of having Cheerios thrown at you like a common criminal. Don't get me wrong, I love the little bugs, I just was kinda getting stir crazy at home.

And stir crazy makes me spend money. And so we spent and spent and spent in December, and guess what? We have to pay three weeks of daycare for two small children before I get paid. Ow. This year's going to be rough, I think, between daycare, the higher mortgage (our taxes have been added back into the monthly payment), and things falling apart left and right. Oh, and all the new clothes for work, since I am 2 sizes larger than I was the last time I went to work not pregnant.

"So, last time you came back to work, you told me you were pregnant again. Anything you want to tell me?"
"Yeah. I went to the doctor and that won't happen again for a long time."
"Thank God."
"Amen, sister."

Monday, January 01, 2007

2006 - that's SO last year...

Thanks again AKJ for allowing us schmoes to copy your content...

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before? Experienced natural childbirth, became a working mother.
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I generally only resolve to try to be stronger, etc. Who knew I was actually already knocked up on New Year's Eve last year?
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Uh, me.
4. Did anyone close to you die? My grandmother with Alzheimer's was finally released in August. I actually went to several funerals in 2006.
5. What countries did you visit? The United Kingdom of Sleeplessness.
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? More time to myself, more sleep.
7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Meimei's birth, January 2 when I went back to work and figured out I was pregnant again.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Surviving a pregnancy, surviving a serious depression for the last 6 weeks of said pregnancy, surviving a small surgery only two weeks after, getting in three months of breastfeeding. Sometimes surviving is the achievement.
9. What was your biggest failure? Continuing to have to battle my depression, continuing to have to worry about it and keep falling down with it.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Gall Bladder attacks that lead to having it removed. Blood in my urine that turned out to be nothing, but only after several tests, one that was quite uncomfortable. I also consider pregnancy an illness and/or injury.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Brand new kitchen appliances.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Kitten's. She is too funny.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mark Foley, President Bush, my own occasionally.
14. Where did most of your money go? Daycare.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Kitten's milestones, Meimei's milestones, buying a new house.
16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
Jackson - Johnny Cash and June Carter. Kitten's a Cash fan, we watched a lot of "Walking the Line", listened to "At Folsom Prison" quite a bit.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? I'm actually in the same boat with happy/sad as last year, waiting to go back to work and worrying about money, daycare, etc., but excited to go back at the same time. But definitely fatter.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Spent time outside with Kitten.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Incubating Meimei. But what are you gonna do?
20. How will you be spending Christmas? We have made a commitment to spend the next several years, at least for Christmas morning, at home so the kids can have what we had as children.
21. Did you fall in love in 2006? With my Meimei, yes.
22. How many one-night stands? Never had one.
23. What was your favorite TV program? I've gone through quite a few that I'm now over.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate last year? I don't really hate anyone. But I am even more tired of Paris Hilton than I was before, if that's possible.
25. What was the best book you read? Go to Bed, Fred, and Pajama Time. I don't get to read adult books much.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery? Music? Does the Sesame Street Intro count? I don't recall listening to anything else much.
27. What did you want and get? New appliances. New house. Selling my house in 9 days.
28. What did you want and not get? More time for myself. More sleep.
29. What was your favorite film this year? The only one we saw in the theater, I think, was Running With Scissors, which was very strange, but some parts we absolutely laugh-out-loud, fall-out-of-your-seat funny.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was 32, my daughter was three days old, but we did manage to get dinner.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Giving birth to a child that automatically slept through the night.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept for 2006? I did find a couple of cute maternity tops...
33. What kept you sane? Kitten, Pants, my mom, my friends, my blog.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Nigel Barker
35. What political issue stirred you the most? Iraq. The elections.
36. Who did you miss? Everyone at some point. I don't get out a lot.
37. Who was the best new person you met? I don't know that I actually met anyone really this year. Again, don't get out much.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006. Some days, it's enough to just put one foot in front of the other and make it to bedtime. Some days, it's enough to just get through it without losing your temper or your mind. Some days you can do it with grace, some days, you just do it.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride. -Gary Allen

What's REALLY going on?

So here we are, before the sun rises on a new year. Not a creature is stirring in this house but me and Lewis Black on HBO. So what's coming for the year?

1. I rightly received a smackdown from Pants, who was reading a post I was writing and left up that was not terribly complimentary to him regarding the situation surrounding his lost cell phone. This year, I have promised not to post anything that I have not bitched to him about first.
2. I will work on bringing my lunch to work and eating out less in general. It is bad for us and costs too much money. It's generally just laziness (whenever I use that word, substitute: depression). It's going to be hard to make dinner at night for the family, but in the end it's usually quicker to make something simple like ravioli or mac & cheese than to wait for a pizza or go out and get something. So, screaming toddler be damned, I will attempt to make dinner and eat at home.
3. I will attempt to eat breakfast. This is more for my health than anything else and I can start a kettle of water or just put some in the microwave before I get up the girls to get dressed. Then I can just mix it with the instant oatmeal in a disposable cup and be out the door. No fuss, no muss.
4. I will attempt to make the best decisions possible whenever I can this year, not take the easy way out, stay strong when I want to be weak.

And that's it. A couple of specific items, but mostly just making wise decisions. If I fall down today, I can get back up tomorrow and keep moving on.

Those are my resolutions, these are my wishes. I will wish to make more good decisions than bad. I will wish at the end of every day for one more day to start over. I will wish for the wisdom to raise my daughters into women like those that I know and love today. I will wish for compassion and passion and happiness. And sleep.

Happy New Year to all of you. I wish you a year of wisdom and peace.