Night of WTF?

Scene: bedtime.

Syl walks by the bathroom where Kitten is claiming loudly that she is going to go to the bathroom. Syl stops about 3 feet past the door and turns around, nearly running back. Kitten is standing in front of the toilet, lid up, pants down, facing the stool. It looks like she is about to pee. STANDING UP.

Syl: What are you doing?
Kitten: Peeing.
S: You need to sit down.
K: No.
S: Put the seat down right now and sit down. That is how girls pee.
K: No, I want to stand up.
S: Honey, boys pee standing up, but girls have to sit down. Girls don't have penises, they don't have anything to aim. You need to sit down. Pants, would you like to explain to your daughter why she can't pee standing up?

A 10 minute fit ensues wherein Syl tries to explains the physics of urination equipment and gender.

_______

Scene: 90 minutes post-bedtime. The Hammer is still whining in her room.

Syl: What is the matter?
The Hammer: I want my tent down. I don't want it up anymore.
S: Ok, we can take it down.
TH: I don't want it to get broken.
S: It's fine honey, it's not broken. [Proceeds to take down bed tent.]
TH: You're breaking it!
S: No honey, these are tent poles and they are made to come apart. See? [Demonstrates the technology of shock-cord poles and takes the whole tent down.]
TH [as S folds tent]: Mom, I want my tent back up.
S: Ok. [Sighs. Puts bed tent back up.]
TH: Mom, I want to sleep on the floor.
S [turns back and walks out]: Goodnight.