Monday, June 23, 2008

What's up with that?

So yeah, I've been flaking out again. My depression is about the worst it's been since before the kids were born, even though I'm on 3x the Zoloft. Can't get moving, can't get motivated, can't seem to get going.

Possible causes:
  • IUD - mine is coated with hormones, which was probably a rash decision considering I could not handle the hormones in the pill. But research shows hormones are negligible. Conclusion: probably not.
  • I'm a bit short on funds - daycare costs are killing us. We can't live on our budget - or won't. We don't seem to be able to do what's necessary to live on our (very adequate) incomes. There is something very wrong to say I'm broke while I type this on my laptop connected to my high-speed internet, sitting in front of my BFTV watching cable. Sounds a bit like whining. Conclusion: Most likely.
  • My business - there are things I have to do with my business that personally make me uncomfortable, and it's not at all about the sex. I know I can actually do them (pretty sure they won't kill me) - it's just a matter of getting off my ass and doing them. I've really had a crisis of faith this month on this new business and I've wanted to quit about every other minute. But, for better or worse, I'm in it too far to quit so I will persevere through the end of the year and then make a decision going forward. Conclusion: Most Likely a side effect.
I think I need to find my counselor for a tune up. I'm trying to be consistent about taking my meds, but my auto-refill proves I'm not doing well.

3 comments:

Ms. Huis Herself said...

Sorry to hear about the lack of get-up-and-go. It sounds to me like seeking out your counselor is the way to go if that will help (or even if you think it might). Good luck & thinking of you!

Allknowingjen said...

I hear you on the business stuff that you don't want to do. Really. I know our businesses are nothing alike, but I know for me there is a lot of stuff that I hate doing. Hate. I also frequently think about quitting. And then realize I am too far in to quit. At 2 1/2 years in and I am still waiting for that feeling to go away!
But as a business owner you do kind of have to do a bit of everything, and sadly everything won't be your favorite or what you are best at. (and there is no one to tell you if you did a good job!) So just know that it is totally normal and it's not just you. Hopefully, what you do like about it outweighs having to do the crappy stuff. Hang in there.

Unknown said...

Oh no! That's tough. I'm feeling a bit better with my stuff, but I know where you're coming from. I quit HGP, I just couldn't do it any more. Too much stess.

If you ever need to talk about it (with a nonprofessional) I'm just a phone call away! On vaycay now, but I have the cell.