And here's why I went over there tonight:
- I have been crying at every TV show in the last 24 hours - including Cold Case when they solved the crime.
- I got to the point that every time I turned my head this evening, I was suddenly very lightheaded. I have heard of this before, but it never happened to me until today.
- I cried because MIL is still mad about Christmas because we told her yesterday we were spending it with my dad (original title of tonight's post? "Why I fucking hate Christmas")
- Had one of the worst days I've had in a long time at work. On a full snoot of Sertraline, it would have been long and busy, but doable. And I wouldn't have bitten Jay's head off at 3:00.
- In the old days ("Little House on the Prarie" old or when-we-were-on-welfare old, take your pick), Christmas was a time when you got things you needed but didn't have the money for - fruit, socks, shoes, church clothes. Sometimes, they were luxuries - a new doll, toy, book, or something special that you couldn't expect any other time of year. It was one or two items at the most and you were thrilled to get it. Today, however, we get the kids toys and clothes all year long and buy ourselves whatever we need. Christmas isn't special anymore because we don't want for anything, we don't need anything we can't have.
- Buying presents for people is a real downer when it's done out of obligation, not because you saw something you thought would be perfect for someone. On the flip side, trying to live with someone else's expectations that they bought you something you just had to have, but you hate it and are pretty sure they just bought it out of obligation to you. If we're shopping out of obligation, let's just include gift receipts, folks.
- One of the few people I see things for all the time that I would like to get, I am not allowed to buy for because we don't have the money to spend on each other. Also sorta takes the fun out of the holiday.
- Expectations that Christmas can only happen on the 25th - don't we all have our own families now? Can we start spreading out the joy and love for chrissakes?
- Other people thinking Christmas is all about them. Get over yourself and your little picture of how things should be, already.
6 comments:
Ummm... *pops a pill* Amen.
While not currently popping pills, I am on the eat turkey train. Don't know what the hell I'm talking about? That lovely tryptophan that everyone thinks makes them sleepy at Thanksgiving? It's used by your body to make serotonin. That extra kick is all it's taking these days to keep me off the pill popping train. Eat turkey people. I've skipped it for a few days and damn, I can tell. It won't solve everyone's issues. That's why the pills are out there, thank god! But there could be so many fewer grouchy people...
And while I'm ranting -- once the meds kick back in, Syl, decide to make Christmas about what's important to you and stick with it. Let the rest be. Friends and family will adjust to your decisions over time. Till then, let'em stew. Your values are admirable and I think you should stick with them.
Man, I thought you were just tired of having everything due yesterday. Cuz I totally understand that.
*waves hands in air* Testify!
I totally know what you mean about Christmas. I've been having the gift or no gift discussion for years. I wanted no gift for financial reasons, Christmas is about more than gifts, isn't it? So, after 5+ years of being over-ridden by people who think we should exchange gifts no matter what; I finally trumped them. They can really see that I really DO have no money since I have 2 mortgages. I suppose they can see more of a reason why I have no money. Should it take that extreme of measures though?
Having 2 mortgages has really made me hold back A LOT more than I used to. I think I realize more that I don't have money and I spend that way. We are going to have a good old time Christmas this year. I know it hasn't actually happened yet, but so far it's by far the best one I've had. I don't remember the last time I was so happy with my Christmas progress.
I feel your pain. Hopefully all those crazy people will get their heads out of their a-- and wake up to realize how incredibly pushy they are. Wouldn't it be wonderful if, in the spirit of Christmas, they could just see you sometime within a few days/weeks of Christmas and just enjoy your company?
Hmm, maybe more people should move 5 hours from friends and family and have 2 mortgages. It really helps to change perspectives a bit.
I have a short digression about gift receipts. The other night I went to Target to get pictures, which weren't ready, so I did some other shopping while I was waiting and just checked out to kill time. I had: 2 20-oz bottles of Diet Pepsi, 1 box of Target brand tampons, and 1 little tubey of lead refills for my mechanical pencil. The girl behind the register gave me a gift receipt. Por quoi? Because they just give them to you automatically now? Who would I have to dislike enough to give any of those items to as a "gift"?
OK, maybe I'm still bitter that they didn't want to hire me, but I like to think that I would've had the initiative to skip the gift receipt on that one.
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