I have now experienced 3 sessions of physical therapy (PT) and have done my exercises at home each day. On Friday, they taunted me with the idea that I could go down to one crutch if I was strong enough.
Do you have any idea how much my life would change if I could have a hand free to carry things?
But they took one look at me on one crutch and said, "You're not ready." Dammit.
When I thought about the prospect of putting 50% weight on my leg, I thought I would have to hold myself back. It turns out that I have had to push myself to get up to 50%. Three reasons: fear of pain, weak muscles, and soreness.
The fear is... whatever. It is what it is. My leg muscles are also weak and it feels sometimes like they won't hold my weight, even at 50%. And the soreness - my leg muscles, especially in my lower leg, are constantly sore and my knee gets really stiff now if I use it and then sit down for a few hours. I'm constantly stretching my leg now, hoping to stave off the stiffness and work out the soreness.
Oh, and work. I got approved (I begged) for 4 hours per day, three days per week. However, the paperwork only got sent over on Friday to Disability and I can't go back to work until they review and approve the change. Which could take up to three days. So although the doctor (ok, his assistant, but she was there in my surgery and saw me in the hospital) has approved a partial return to work, I can't go back tomorrow.
My mental health has gone downhill since I last saw the Dr. and was put out of work for another 4 weeks. I cannot take the thought of being out of work for another 4 weeks, being at home all that time. I don't want to watch another movie at home. I don't want to read another book. I don't want to go back to Target. I'm still limited in where I can go (can't stand too long, walk too far, etc.) and the thrill of driving has turned into disappointment that I don't really have anywhere to go.
1 comment:
Darn about the not ready for one crutch! I can't imagine how much of a hassle it would be to not be able to just grab something and carry it where you want to go.
Yay for the some work being approved! When I would be on 3 week interim breaks at our alternate calendar school, I'd love the first week off, start getting bored the second, & be chomping at the bit the last week. And I was fully abled! So I'm imagining how bored/frustrated you must be being home, but not able to DO all the things you'd like to DO!
I know you can't do a lot, but it might be worth getting out to some other places like your local library, or one of the parks known for their flowers, or one of the lakes where you could sit on a bench & just be outside in a new place, or the art institute, or a museum... something DIFFERENT! Even if just for a half hour, it might still be "something to do" to give you a break from being at the house all the time.
Post a Comment