I'm back

Came back this evening from the wedding to a baby with a stomach virus, a toddler running wild half an hour after bedtime, and a very tired daddy.

The wedding was very nice, though, very intimate and pretty. Congrats Katie and Mark!!

This morning we had some time, and since we were staying 6 blocks from Temple Square in Salt Lake City, I requested that we go see the Temple. What else do you do in SLC on Sunday morning? Aside from being accosted by several Stepford Mormon Sisters who clearly wanted to discuss their close personal relationship with Jesus Christ, the square was really beautiful and quiet in the snow. Some of the architecture was quite pretty.


However, it's nice to be home, even to a pukey baby, wound toddler, and cranky husband. Wouldn't trade it for anything.

You, too, can now own a piece of Toast.

Rock on, Mike.

I am so over...

Katherine Heigl. Holier-than-thou much?

Thank god it's over.

I am sitting here, on the couch in my jammies in front of the TV, just really basking in the fact that Christmas is over.

As if it wasn't enough that we were going through two full Christmases today, plus our own, I came down with a wicked stomach virus Sunday night that pretty much took me out of commission all of Christmas Eve. I spent the entire day moaning on the couch, praying for a swifter death.

Last night, I got up around 9 p.m. and wrapped the presents for the girls and tried to finish some of the other stuff. And I ate some toast.

This morning we got up with the kids and opened presents. We then scrambled around to get everything else ready so we could start the day. Went to MIL's, spent way too long due to unexplained hour-long absence of SIL's boyfriend while picking up his kids, and went way late to my dad's. Dad gets the shaft again.

Went through third round of presents while children are on sugar-crash. Finally get through and get to dinner and Kitten (Kitten!) eats 4 lbs. of ham. I can barely eat because my stomach feels like crap again.

We hang out for awhile and finally leave (kids are back to normal due to real food) at about 8:15. Way past bedtime. Meimei sleeps, but traffic is backed up and we end up on back roads.

Next year will be different. Mark my words.

What should I read

Next weekend, I will be going to Utah for a wedding. Alone. Well, with my parents, but without my children. You know what I mean.

Although I will be out of the state for less than 48 hours, I am looking for a good read for the flight. Any suggestions?

Things we never thought we'd say before we had kids

"We're going to have to teach her that banging her head against the wall hurts."

On completing lists

I can never seem to complete a list - mine was pretty ambitious, but I get so close and stop.

I have been wrapping the presents here piecemeal and I'm almost done, just have the kids' left and one for a niece.

I have been dreading the sock monkeys because I think I will screw them up, but I will have to get down to it soon. This weekend, my pretties, this weekend.

The caulking and putting up plastic must be done, but it won't get done until after Christmas, I'm afraid. Several of the rooms still feel very cold without the plastic.

But all else is done. Phew!

Through children's eyes

I have removed Christmas lights from my list of things to do so I can get them after Christmas on sale. And my ideas of lights have changed after seeing them through my kid's eyes.

I used to like the simplicity of white lights. Only white.

But now I love the multi-colored icicle lights, sprinkled like candy from the eaves and porch railings. I love the white and red alternating lights one of the neighbors has on their evergreen. I love the mixture of blue and white icicle lights in one of the neighborhoods on the way home. I have fallen in love with colors and combinations and more is better. Because in the eyes of my children, those are the prettiest houses around.

Random Thoughts

Now, I'm a reality show fan, but I watched Crowned this week and even I must draw the line. I wanted to post about it Wednesday, but I've been showering since then. Can't even begin to tell you how grossly stereotypical 3/4 of the women are. But could not stop laughing when Shanna Moakler asked one of the teams to pick up the "de-sashing scissors."

"What happens in a lady's vagina should stay in a lady's vagina." -Nancy Grace

We actually got our bed off the basement floor and into our new bedroom tonight. That'll be weird. We're getting the house sorted out finally, though.

Constantin Maroulis is quite possibly the ugliest "good-looking" guy I've ever seen.

Hey Shari Sheppard - take a clue from Hannah Montana: "And remember, nicer to people. And then a globe."

And yes, I'm watching The Soup's Best of the Worst Daytime Television.

Turn back time

I've been kicking this around for awhile, but Dooce's post today has prompted me to finally post it.

Dear 19-year-old self:

You will begin a period in which you have horrible insomnia, and yet can't stay awake for anything. AKJ will have to wake you up because you are snoring in class. You will miss many events and appointments because you take a nap and can't get up. You will be tested several times for mono.

After many months of this, you will go through a whole battery of medical tests, and the idea will be presented to you, however incompetently, that you might be experiencing depression. Before you dismiss this idea as a suggestion that you are crazy, or that all of this is in your head, stop and listen for a minute.

Although this idea is presented to you as if it actually means you are crazy, or are just wasting everyone's time, hold this diagnosis tight. Hold onto it so tightly that you refuse to listen to anything else and insist that you get help for it.

Even though you hate this idea, let someone who knows what it is explain it to you, explain what it's doing to you, and explain that they can help. Get medicated. Go to therapy and let some of those demons out for a walk. They're not so bad when you can see them in the daylight.

So take my advice and go get treated. This is a disease like anything else and you've been suffering long enough. You're desperate for a name for what is ailing you, and now you have one: dysthymia. You have depression.

Treat it now and you'll get 10 years of your life that I missed out on.

Why I need to be fully medicated at all times

I've been very good at taking my meds, but ran out Friday and didn't rush right back to get more. I went over to Walgreen's Saturday and had them refill them, but didn't pick them up until tonight.
And here's why I went over there tonight:

• I have been crying at every TV show in the last 24 hours - including Cold Case when they solved the crime.
  
• I got to the point that every time I turned my head this evening, I was suddenly very lightheaded. I have heard of this before, but it never happened to me until today.
• I cried because MIL is still mad about Christmas because we told her yesterday we were spending it with my dad (original title of tonight's post? "Why I fucking hate Christmas")
• Had one of the worst days I've had in a long time at work. On a full snoot of Sertraline, it would have been long and busy, but doable. And I wouldn't have bitten Jay's head off at 3:00.
  

Oh, and here's why I fucking hate Christmas:

• In the old days ("Little House on the Prarie" old or when-we-were-on-welfare old, take your pick), Christmas was a time when you got things you needed but didn't have the money for - fruit, socks, shoes, church clothes. Sometimes, they were luxuries - a new doll, toy, book, or something special that you couldn't expect any other time of year. It was one or two items at the most and you were thrilled to get it. Today, however, we get the kids toys and clothes all year long and buy ourselves whatever we need. Christmas isn't special anymore because we don't want for anything, we don't need anything we can't have.
  
• Buying presents for people is a real downer when it's done out of obligation, not because you saw something you thought would be perfect for someone. On the flip side, trying to live with someone else's expectations that they bought you something you just had to have, but you hate it and are pretty sure they just bought it out of obligation to you. If we're shopping out of obligation, let's just include gift receipts, folks.
• One of the few people I see things for all the time that I would like to get, I am not allowed to buy for because we don't have the money to spend on each other. Also sorta takes the fun out of the holiday.
  
• Expectations that Christmas can only happen on the 25th - don't we all have our own families now? Can we start spreading out the joy and love for chrissakes?
• Other people thinking Christmas is all about them. Get over yourself and your little picture of how things should be, already.
  

Late to the party

I read about the Catsouras accident scene photos that were leaked by the California police to the internet and then sent to the girls parents. Apparently, many of them were extremely gruesome, showing her nearly decapitated body still strapped into the car.

So, naturally, I went online this morning to look up the photos. Of course, now there's litigation, so no one is posting them any longer. I am equal parts horror that I even looked for them and anger that they've all been removed.

And so it goes with all of the photos I hear about and try to look up. Vanessa Hudgens' nude photos (removed because her publicist had the brilliant idea to charge sites for posting them - far more effective than a court injunction). Tara Reid's boob. Janet Jackson's boob. If the internet picture has made headlines, I'm already too late.

Serves me right for using the internet to pay my bills instead of endlessly, aimlessly surfing for the most graphic news du jour.

Pondering pizza delivery

Haven't eaten, but am pondering pizza delivery. Is it wrong to order pizza when entirely alone?

Tis the Season to be Guilty

So here we are, smack in the middle of the holidays again, and Pants and I are smack in the middle of our annual guilt trip about where we spend the holidays.

As a caveat to those reading who might be part of this decision - the guilt is solely our own and you should not feel guilty for inviting us. You are doing something nice and we are the schmucks who can't say no when we want to.

That being said, does anyone else have this dilemma around the holidays?

We have three immediately families and some extended family, and all want us to come to their house at some point around Christmas. We already dealt with the Thanksgiving debacle and our current decision to spend the day at one place and no longer drive from house to house to appease everyone. Someone always gets the short end anyway, no matter how hard you try. So I guess we're switching off on Thanksgiving and trying to hit the other groups some other time during the weekend.

So, back to Christmas. We have put Christmas morning until at least noon off limits, as this is our time at home with the kids. We invited MIL and SIL over for cheap coffee and cinnamon rolls from a can, and anyone else who wants to partake is welcome. You know where we live.

The problem is Christmas afternoon. We were spending Christmas Eve with Pants' family, but then BIL's wife said her parents would not give up Christmas Eve this year, so it got moved to Christmas afternoon. That same day, my dad called and wanted to have everyone over at the same time. So who do we say no to? The person who scheduled last, or the person who changed their mind after the date was set? With Pants' family we draw names, so it might be awkward to split up the party. But my dad always get the shaft with the holidays and I want that to change.

Maybe this is why I'm so conflicted about Christmas. What happened to families staying home and grandparents doing the traveling? Isn't that what happened when we were kids?

More holiday commercial fun

Love it:

Wendy's commercial where burger is singing "Making Love Outta Nothin At All"
Credit Card commercial where son gets his mom what she really wants for Christmas - he gets a nice suit and shows up to Christmas dinner in it. I so dig that she has to tear the tags off the back as he walks past her to the table.
The classics - the penguin and polar bear Coke commercials. Yes, we all know the penguins would have been chomped within 20 seconds, but isn't this the season where the lion lays down with the lamb? Maybe penguins can disco with polar bears. That's all I'm saying.


Hate it:

Creepy car commercial where dealer does a full Flashdance to "Maniac" on the showroom floor. Complete with the water splash bit. Ew.
The massive amounts of car commercials, second only in my burning ire to Christmas jewelry commercials.

Warning!

From the snowblower manual:

Warning! If running this engine in temperatures over 80 degrees Fahrenheit, use of 10w30 motor oil could cause the engine to require more oil than usual.

Um, if it's 80 degrees, I think I'll just let it melt off the driveway. Thanks for the tip.

One down...

Kitten's room, formerly ours, has been cleared, painted (ceiling and walls) and moved in. A huge shout out to the dude giving away 5 unopened gallons of paint on Craig's List in Sherwin Williams's Innocent. Now we have enough to do Meimei's room too. Also a huge thanks to MIL for being so excited about the switch that it nearly forced us to just get it done already (and who helped immensely and kept us going when we wanted to be done for the day), and to SIL for bringing pizza and watching the kids while Pants finished adjusting the new snowblower and got the driveway done. And to both of them for bathing the kids afterward.

Of course, Kitten is losing IQ points as we speak from sleeping in a freshly painted room, but we can discuss that when she fails 1st grade.

Waiting for Godot

Finally called DirecTV today about the HD problem, and of course, it can only be fixed by a technician. So we have to wait for Dec. 15 for our service appointment.

The local channels come off a different satellite, so that's why we get them. And he's not sure the installation was done correctly, so they might have to do some of that as well.

IF THEY SHOW UP.

Remember when?

...I spent the whole week letting Meimei cry it out so she would sleep through the night?

Oh, wait, that was this week. Meimei's back at it, getting up for 2 hours every night and screaming the entire time when we won't let her out.

Dead

I think the digital camera's had it.

Kitten was turning around and walking with her milk cup pinched between her knees, so clearly, I had to turn on the camera and get a picture.

I turned it on and opened the flash, but the display didn't turn on. Okay, so then I took off the lens cap, but still nothing.

I'm charging the battery in case that fixes it, but I'm not hopeful. If the display is dead, the camera is less than useful - it has no viewing window.

And here are the top three reasons I have already been looking at new digital cameras:

• The current one is only 4 megapixels. It's pretty standard to get 8 these days, and I've dabbled in digital scrapbooking and 8 is much better for blowing up pictures to a full page.
  
• Our camera takes far too long from the time I push the button to when the picture snaps. With two toddlers, it means most of my pictures end up blurry, or they have weird faces, aren't looking, or have disappeared from the photo completely.
• It's honkin', and not in a good way. I don't mind a larger camera if it's an SLR or something, but this has a handle that swivels down so you have to hold it like a radar gun. I'm just not steady enough for that.

Oh, and I grabbed the regular camera, which is still so fabulous I don't mind using it, but the battery was dead in that too. So no picture of Kitten and the milk. Boo.