Until it hurts

According to Target, Christmas is here! I'm a bit conflicted about Christmas. I don't know if everyone gets this way, or if it's just me, but I'm having issues with how to make the holiday more meaningful and less materialistic.

So to start, here's a list of things you can do this holiday season to bring some joy:

If you know a family who has lost someone:

• Make copies of all of the pictures you have of that someone and give them to the family. It will cost you very little and will be priceless to the family.
• Secretly adopt the family - anonymously leave them food, gifts, and mementos of their loved one. The last thing any family wants is to forget, or to think that others have forgotten.
  

If you know a family that is doing without:

• One of the problems I have with Christmas is that my family doesn't really do without. So why should we receive gifts when we already have what we need? If you know a family that is going without, give them a grocery card to make a Christmas meal. Leave them some presents. Do something nice that will help them out this season. It means so much more to have something special when you usually don't.

If you know a single parent:

• Offer to watch the kid(s) while they get out of the house. They'll probably do something practical, but encourage them to go sit at a coffee shop with a good book.
  
• Anonymously leave a gift card for Target or Toys 'R' Us. Kids are expensive and I can't imagine how parents do it on one income.
  
• Anonymously leave a bag of clothes in the child's size - hopefully you can free the parent up to buy them a special toy for Christmas instead of just the necessities.

If you go to a restaurant, shop, or store:

• Leave a decent tip, especially if you live in a state where they aren't required to pay restaurant servers minimum wage.
  
• Be nice. If your server or cashier is flustered, imagine how crappy a day they must be having. A few kind words could turn that around.
  

If you are planning to give toys for children:

• Don't forget babies and teenagers. They need items too.
  
• For each toy, buy a winter hat. Kids may want toys, but they need hats. Go crazy and venture into mittens, scarves, and socks, too.
  

If you are a big spender:

• There's a great program that will donate a nearly indestructible laptop to a third world country if you buy one for someone - approximately $400. If you don't have a kid to give it to, donate it. You can save the world and the country with one purchase.
  

You're all smart people. Come up with some more.

New Kick

I decided today that I am banned from Target for 21 days. And for each business day during that 21 days that I don't bring my lunch to work, my Target ban is extended an additional day.

Exception: Thursday People. In and out.

I don't have time to bleed

I have discovered that it's one thing to stop spending for 30 days. You can tell yourself each day, "Oh, you can just get it when this is over." It's quite another thing to think that you will be living as you are for the next 3 1/2 years. No excess spending. No gadgets or gizmos. Continue cutting out the dollars where you can.

I've actually been quite depressed the past couple of weeks at the prospect of this. That this won't be letting up anytime soon. That I can't continue to use shopping to occupy my time, keep myself entertained, make myself feel better. That I can't even do what I want to the house because it costs money and we can't afford it. I'm not even talking about remodeling the kitchen or putting on an addition. I'm talking about painting a room.

And I think I'm even more depressed now that I even need these things. That it's depressing me this much. That I can't just shake off the trappings of materialism and live with what I have.

Which is plenty. We don't go hungry. We have clothes and a nice home. Why isn't this enough?

First-ever Purchase Day

I took Friday as Purchase Day because it is 4 full weeks after the start date and because Pants told me to take Friday evening for myself.

I've making a list of everything I wanted and, in truth, it was actually pretty short. I was mentally adding a ton of things in my head, but I paid the bills before I went, which nipped that in the bud. I decided to basically stick to the list.

I purchased a trellis at Fleet Farm as planned, but added a garden bed edging for an additional $15. So Fleet Farm came to about $27. Check card.

I went to Lowes to get the thingies that would make my closet not stupid, but they didn't have a closet rod to fit them that was 5 feet long. They had 4 feet and 6 (too long), but not 5, and the rods weren't adjustable. So I just bought an adjustable closet rod instead and I'm pretty sure we have rod brackets in the garage somewhere, so I will use one of those. Plus, I bought a new number 5 for the mailbox. Mine fell off this winter. $10.23 total. Cash paid.

I then went to Target. Eep! I bought a little something for my mother for Mother's Day, a book for my cousin for her impending graduation, some nail polish for my toes (which goes along with my attempt to dress better), sunblock for the children and one for Pants to carry with him, plus some aloe for the inevitable sunburn (Pants, not the children), an outside toy for Kitten for her birthday coming up ($14.99 for a wagon and several sand toys, not bad!), and the May Real Simple. It was a bit more than I wanted, $72, but I thought I stayed pretty close to my list. I even put the cute shoes back because they weren't on the list and I didn't think I would wear them enough. Cute sandals did go on the next list, however. Check card on this one, too.

I did look at a weeding tool that I didn't buy, but probably will, even before the next purchase day. It dawned on me in the car on the way home how to use it and how easy it would make the weeding. And we seem to have a dandelion problem in the side yard and every time I try to pull them up, I just behead them. And it's a super-cool tool for only $5.99.

Plus, we broke the rules and bought blinds online Thursday night. If you have been here, you might remember we have BLACK aluminim blinds in the livingroom on our beautiful bay window. They do almost nothing to block the sun from beating in during the day and heating the upstairs up to 80 every afternoon. For the little they do, they completely shut out the sunlight and we have to turn on the lamps to see anything in here. Yet, there's still sections where the sun peeks through and blinds us. So not terrible functional, and not at all pretty. And not energy efficient either. The air conditioner was pretty much running nonstop this week trying to cool the upstairs. So we did some looking online and such and bought a set of blinds for each section of the window at nobrainerblinds.com. I will let you know how they are when they get here, but I would already recommend them. They had a sale on double-cell 3/8 inch cellular blinds, plus top-down/bottom-up option for free this month. So we got really nice blinds for the whole, huge window (all three sections) for $215. Shipping was also free unless we wanted them overnighted or sent 2-day (for $125, we don't!). So we made this purchase outside the bounds of the No Purchase rules, but I figured it was one day, I had been given the Pants blessing on it, and it will save us money and energy over time.

Raking my troubles away

For a small town preacher's kid with no discernible job, Ariel in Footloose sure seems to have quite a bit of disposable income. Boombox and contraband music cassettes. Skin-tight pleather pants. Red cowboy boots. Music box for boyfriend she hasn't even kissed yet. Hmm.

I went grocery shopping today and alas, bought two canvas bags branded with the Cub logo (although they were 2 for $7) and a pair of barbecue tongs. Not necessary, not food. But items that were cheaper than what I was going to buy on purchase day, and I wanted to avoid using the plastic bags. I figured I could wait to buy the bags online because they wouldn't get here in time for me to go grocery shopping anyway, but then there they were, at the checkout. So I guess I am not counting them as against the rules. Although they really probably are.

But I was distracted today by Kitten being ill. In fact, if she sounds as bad tomorrow morning with the wheezing and shallow breathing as she did today, we're going to urgent care. At the end of the day, when she went to bed, I was so DONE I was freaking out. So I went out and raked the lawn. Only about half of the front, but it was so nice.

I don't know if anyone remembers, but I used to clean when I got mad or stressed. I did a lot of cleaning the year I dated Dan. Anyway, I use to clean like a mad woman when I got mad. And this evening, as I raked and wondered why I got the urge to do it, I remembered that. And I thought maybe, just maybe, this is the answer to my buying urges. Maybe when I'm getting itchy to make a stupid purchase, I can do a little cleaning or some gardening and it will calm my nerves. I don't know how that will help me at work with Target just one block away calling my name, but it's worth a shot at home. It's better than online window-shopping like some drunk hanging out in a bar hoping to get high on second-hand liquor fumes.

3 weeks and counting

This week was harder to not buy. MUCH HARDER. I have been itchy, almost to the point of panicky, since my last post. Been to Target again - but only bought People and a Lean Cuisine lunch to nuke back at the office. Been online shopping - BAD - but haven't bought anything. Making a list of stuff for Purchase Day. Still actually quite short. Funny how much stuff you think you need that you don't need.

What I've bought that I shouldn't have:
Meimei outfit from Carter's (I decided the $4 jammies for Kitten were necessary, as getting a good deal on next year's jammies that will certainly be used can't be all bad. But the outfit was pure waste.)
Gardening magazine
Garden tool from L.L. Bean

I ordered the tool almost as soon as I saw it. I would have bought it anyway and I bought it with a gift card, and I thought I couldn't wait because of shipping, but it could have waited until May 6. I would have had it before I needed it.

We are having guests next week at work and I don't have fat clothes appropriate for guests. So I might have to purchase a pair of khaki capris or something this weekend. I only have jeans. But we'll see. I might be able to make another pair of pants work.

On the purchase list for May 6:
canvas bags for grocery shopping - I'm trying to take small steps into going green
a trellis for the front of the house

and that's it. There's a Pampered Chef catalog going around at work and I wrote some things down today, and I might get the barbecue tongs if I can't find a good pair because Pants burned himself several times last summer. But I think the list will get quite whittled down prior to May 6. Our incentive? All money left at the end of the payweek goes into our new Orange savings account for the house! Yay!

Itchy

I'm dying to buy something today. Had a dream last night that I was shopping through L.L. Bean for garden tools, which gave me the bright idea to use my giftcard to buy garden tools at www.llbean.com. They only have one, but it looks pretty cool.

Anyway, I was also looking at land for sale last night and I think this is what has me really itchy. I found a piece I want. 10 acres. Creek running through a corner of it. Heavily wooded, no buildings. Private. Perfect for camping. Put a quaint little prefab one-room thing on it with a wood stove. It's killing me.

So I have spent the whole day trying to figure out how to buy it and it just doesn't work. Not with daycare. And I've been dying to buy something else. Anything. Went to Target, but I held out. Now I'm in for the night, thank God. Ooh, I want to buy something.

On the brighter side, I checked my pension and my 401k and I have a lot of money. Yay! And we are doing alright and should be able to buy a piece of land in a year or two if we stay on track.

Updates

I haven't posted much on my 30 days of no purchasing because the last week or so has been frighteningly easy. I went to Sam's Club and bought only diapers. Didn't even really look at anything else. Normally I would've been in there for hours. Went to Babies R Us and bought a case of formula. Didn't really look at anything else. My only slips have been a gardening magazine from the aisle at the grocery store (a real disappointment anyway) and the clothes from Carters. I'm even starting to rethink People.

I am starting to consider what I will do when the time is up. I'm thinking of setting two days per month on which all purchasing (other than food) will be done. Everything goes on a list for those two days. If there is nothing on the list, nothing gets bought and we wait for the next purchasing day. This way, purchases have to be planned out and we have to think ahead about gifts and other such things. No more last minute runs to the store for cards, gifts, gift-bags, wrapping paper, etc. No more last minute runs for dress clothes, pantyhose, etc. because we didn't think about it enough in advance.

I think the next plan is to work out parking and lunches on work days. We are doing much better eating at home during the week and on weekends, it's just the money we spend at work now. This is where we are bleeding money, so it's the next thing to go. We're actually doing quite well, money-wise, we just have to get really serious about budgeting now with our daycare expense, which basically is a second mortgage every month.

My garden plans have come together for the year too, thanks to Pusher. I have the front of the house mapped out (the front only) and I have a plan started for the rest of the yard. Pants is going to buy a chainsaw with the Home Depot gift card so we can get started on the trees and shrubs.

Kidding myself

to think that I was not going to purchase People magazine for a month.

This item has officially been backed off the no-purchase list. Here are the new rules regarding magazines:
I will not purchase a magazine other than People.
I will purchase the magazine at Target, where they give you a percentage off the newsstand price.
I will not purchase anything else at Target. I will not even venture into the store. Straight to the checkout, grab People and pay, straight out.

Did you hear the thud?

At about 8:45? That was me falling off the wagon. Or hurling myself off. Whatever.

So here's what happened. I met some friends in Monticello this evening and I brought Meimei. She's still easy to travel with and it leaves Pants with only one. I knew I was in for it when I left Pizza Factory, but I did it anyway, and of course, Meimei really needed to eat.

So we stopped in Albertville, the next exit up the road. I pulled through Burger King and got some water (and some cookies, just so I was buying something, you know). And then I did it. I mixed a bottle and brought her into Carters to feed her. I knew it was wrong and that I should just feed her in the car and be on my way.

But wait, I thought. There's new sprouts on the way and maybe I can just pick up a little something. Planned expense, you know. And best to get it at the outlet. But then their bench was right in front of the clearance table, which had winter jammies for $3.99. And Carter's jammies are the best. And $3.99 is unheard of. And they only have 3T, exactly the size I need for next year. Fate.

So I have the lady put two pair up at the register. And I pick something else out for one of the sprouts, and lo and behold, here is the cutest little outfit and the colors look so good on Meimei and it is so cute I almost got it for Sprout, and it's half off. Which isn't that much at the Outlets, but whatever. I'm binging, so it's all logical at this point.

So I bought two jammies for NEXT WINTER and a cute bubble outfit that Meimei will probably not wear this summer, for fear of sunburn. Damn. Back on the wagon tomorrow.

Did you hear the thud?

At about 8:45? That was me falling off the wagon. Or hurling myself off. Whatever.

So here's what happened. I met some friends in Monticello this evening and I brought Meimei. She's still easy to travel with and it leaves Pants with only one. I knew I was in for it when I left Pizza Factory, but I did it anyway, and of course, Meimei really needed to eat.

So we stopped in Albertville, the next exit up the road. I pulled through Burger King and got some water (and some cookies, just so I was buying something, you know). And then I did it. I mixed a bottle and brought her into Carters to feed her. I knew it was wrong and that I should just feed her in the car and be on my way.

But wait, I thought. There's new sprouts on the way and maybe I can just pick up a little something. Planned expense, you know. And best to get it at the outlet. But then their bench was right in front of the clearance table, which had winter jammies for $3.99. And Carter's jammies are the best. And $3.99 is unheard of. And they only have 3T, exactly the size I need for next year. Fate.

So I have the lady put two pair up at the register. And I pick something else out for one of the sprouts, and lo and behold, here is the cutest little outfit and the colors look so good on Meimei and it is so cute I almost got it for Sprout, and it's half off. Which isn't that much at the Outlets, but whatever. I'm binging, so it's all logical at this point.

So I bought two jammies for NEXT WINTER and a cute bubble outfit that Meimei will probably not wear this summer, for fear of sunburn. Damn. Back on the wagon tomorrow.

Little victories

This morning, I did not have cash and you have to spend a minimum of $4 at the convenience store in the skyway to use your check card. I feel like a schmuck buying coffee with a debit card anyway, and it doesn't cost $4, so I started looking around for something else to buy. I wandered over to the magazine rack and suddenly remembered my oath. And it occurred to me I should just buy a sandwich and chips for lunch along with my coffee. Less going out later, less temptation all around. Crisis averted.

I got to my desk and my first email, the AT&T News Now, indicated that we are adopting Six Sigma company-wide and that it would be rolled out as needed throughout the year. Because Six Sigma is a process thing and process is what I do, I immediately pulled up the Borders website to find a book or two on it. I figured it wouldn't hurt to get ahead of the curve and might make me feel slightly more like I know what I'm doing. But books cost money, which dawned on me about 10 minutes later. So I began looking for certification classes online until I found out that the company actually wouldn't cover them under tuition reimbursement. Eventually, I went to the library website and pulled up a couple of books on it. Not exactly what I wanted, but they'll get the job done. Six Sigma for Dummies, anyone?

So there you go. It's not the hardship I thought it would be, it just forces me to be a bit more creative. On the flip side, however, I meant to park in the ramp I pay for every month that's hell-and-gone from my building today, I even had the time, but I clicked into auto-pilot and drove to the ramp next to work. Oh well. Have to remember tomorrow.

30 day dilemma

Okay, I already have a dilemma. I was putting together the landscape kits and they're incomplete. So I am purchasing a couple more things for them. That's fine, right? It's not for me, right? Anyway, I'll try to spend as little as possible in order to finish. That makes it alright, doesn't it?

Also, if I have gift cards, those don't count as long as I don't go over, right. I mean, the money was already spent, and by someone else at that. So that's fine. Right?

30 days

I decided. I will not buy anything for 30 days except the essentials: food, toiletries (toothpaste, diapers, etc.), parking only if it means we will be late if we don't park at the far ramp, mother's day gifts.

I will not buy:
Clothing for the children
Body wash (don't ask, I've developed a fetish)
Clothing for myself
The super-hot boots I was going to buy tomorrow
Anything for the house (including blinds, patio table, paint, light fixtures, etc.)
Books
Magazines (gulp!)

I do plan on spending a small amount on charity for a baby-supply drive they are doing at work for a women's shelter. Occasional food outings will not count because it's food. So.

Now that I told all of you, I feel like I have to. But I'm counting today as the start day because I didn't buy anything.

April 6 through March 4. Here we go. Stay tuned for much discussion on what might or might not count.
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