Taking back the Street

A revolution is desperately needed on the Street. I don't know yet who is strong enough to undertake the mission, but it has to be done. The Street has been corrupted and it's time to take it back.

Elmo must be stopped. An insidious force, he has injected himself, slowly but surely, into every aspect of Sesame Street until he now rules the show. He's Karl Rove, but on stage instead of behind the scenes. His little speech impediment is an act, people. Elmo's calculated this from the beginning. He's taken over the whole show and it's time to take it back.

And who will do it? Bert and Ernie, while not gay, are certainly too pussy (although I think Bert could snap and kill one of the children one day; he's entirely too frustrated). Big Bird? Hardly seen anymore, he's gone into hiding. Even the Grouch has gone soft, reading a bedtime story every day to Slimy, his worm. Sans trash can, I might add.

Grover is on permanent assignment, constantly traveling. Cookie Monster is still holding strong, he might be a candidate. The Count is clearly insane, always has been. Just try getting him out of his dungeon. Maybe Mr. Hooper can come back from the dead and kick some ass.

Elmo's reign of terror must be stopped. I'm sure kids think he's cute, but should we be playing down to them with the baby talk? What happened to speaking to children like adults so they learn how? I'm sure Elmo is a monetary juggernaut, but what happened to Sesame Street being an educational juggernaut?

DOWN WITH ELMO!!